Saturday, November 7, 2009

"Are you going to have another kid?"

That question doesn't bother me so much. It's the reactions I get when I say, "We aren't sure yet", is what bothers me.

Lets talk about annoying questions.
They really start when you've been dating someone for awhile. We've all heard them. "When are you guys going to get married?", turns into, "Are you excited for the BIG day", which turns into, "When will you guys try to have a baby?", which turns into, "How are you feeling?", which turns into, "When will you guys try for a second one?". Yes, these questions are annoying...but we've all asked them. I'm totally guilty of it myself.

If you really think about it, most of them are super insensitive and no one really wants to hear the honest answers. Take my answers to each, for example...
  • "When are you guys going to get married?"...Hmmm, maybe never. We're only getting married when we decide if and when we're having kids. If we decide not to have kids, we're just going to live in sin forever because we don't need the piece of paper stating we love one another.
  • "Are you excited for the BIG day?"...Sure, so long as my mother and father in law do not get so fucking drunk that we have to carry them out of our own reception.
  • "When will you guys try to have a baby?"...Well, since I got knocked up on my honeymoon, sooner then planned apparently.
  • "How are you feeling"...Like SHIT, absolute shit.
  • "When will you guys start trying for a second baby?"...maybe never. Having a kid is way harder than I ever imagined and I don't know if I want to be chasing a toddler around while worrying about what formula my new baby will take to (no, I am not a breast feeder this time around, and possibly will never be. Flame away).

It's the reaction to that last answer that gets me. "WHAT?? You NEED to give Lily a brother or sister!!".

Really? I NEED to? Why is that?

Please don't feed me the bullshit that "there is no bond like that of a sibling" because my mother and aunt hate one another. My husband is the middle child and was ignored his whole life because his mother chose his younger brother as a favorite and his dad chose his sister. I can give you a million other examples of being fucked up because of birth order, but I think you get my point.

I happen to be an only child, can you tell?

Yes, I'm fucked up too, sure...but we all are. Please do not insinuate that I will scar my child for life if she is an only child. I will be able to provide more for her, if that ends up being the case, and if we do half as good of a job that my parents did, she'll be just fine.

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