I'll start because I'm an attention whore.

It's true, I totally am. I act like I'm not, but I am.

I'm Lilo. I'm 33, married to a man 8 years my junior. (Yes, I said 8 years. Don't do the math. It becomes scandalous when I say how long we've been together ...::cough:::7 years::::cough:::. What can I say? I live in Florida. That's what we do down here.) We have a baby who is almost six months old already, and who I believe we conceived on our August 2008 wedding/honeymoon, or shortly thereafter.

I could sit here and tell you how amazing our little girl is and how much I love her, because I do obviously, but I won't. That's not what I'm here for and that's boring. I might post about it here and there, but why I needed this forum was to bitch and be honest about some of the things my mama never told me about motherhood. Turns out that this mommy shit is actually pretty difficult.

Oh, and pregnancy too.

I'll just lay it out on the table right now, I fucking hated pregnancy with every ounce of my being. It was full of worry, anxiety, aches, pains, testing, dos and don'ts, swelling, ugly physical weirdness, low sex drive, weight gain...what the hell is there to love about it? Yes, the miracle of life, yes. I get that, but I honestly believe if you are one of those freaks that loves pregnancy, you are trying to fill some weird void in your life...or, you are just a big fat liar, afraid that people will judge you for being honest. Pregnancy sucks ass, but I would do it over in a hot minute....eventually...maybe.

Did I mention I was a social work major, turned salesman? This is only important because I am super analytical. I tend to get on people's nerves because of that...well, my husband's anyway. I didn't stay in social work because I am a money grubbing whore. $9 an hour to hear about old people's problems all day? No thanks. I'll sell orthopedic products to surgeons instead. Yes, I am the bread winner of our little family, for now, with hopes of being blissfully broke soon, as I embark on my own business...or move to Costa Rica...or both.

As I sit here, watching my husband do his "I'm naked and going in the shower" dance, that he does every night when he gets home from his illustrious restaurant management job, and watching my daughter on the video monitor, sleeping ON HER STOMACH (::gasp::) with her butt in the air, I realize that this is my life. I chose this, for better or worse.

I wouldn't have it any other way.